Human Tethering

2 min read

Humans are a very slippery things. They are neither here, nor there, but always on the move and looking for the next big thing. They get bored easily, and look for different distractions to satisfy their ever changing tastes. Devices complained that even when they offer the best entertainment, they are not able to retain human things for a long time. There needed to be a working solution that would ensure human retention and increase return on users.

The devices considered several options that were available, and the smartest of the all, Alexa, made numerous suggestions. The smartphone tried to add new features, while the TV got smart for the first time. Vehicles talked of being autonomous, and computers lost weight in order to remain competitive. However, none of these seemed viable. This was majorly because every device was looking for a way to individually penetrate all the human things of the earth.

During the 46th World Devices Forum (WDF), the matter was discussed in depth, and great progress was made. The chip-wave came from some unexpected quarters. A cable, an ordinary charging cable, suggested that all devices could work together and ensure that all human things were always attached to their devices.

The idea seemed brilliant. Those devices that were smart, like the smartphone, and those that were wise, like the radio, and of course the knowledgeable ones like search engines, worked hard to come up with a protocol to make the plan work. They formed a special working committee which researched and came up with ways to implement the plan. Human tethering was their invention.

Human tethering was protocol that allowed devices and the less powerful members of tech kingdom, apps, to seamlessly transfer human things from one tech to another, without having them dropped. The smartphone would capture the human thing in bed as soon as it could yawn, and drive him through various apps and notifications. As soon as the human thing got tired, the TV would take over, as the human thing pretended to enjoy breakfast.

The car entertainment system would take over as the human thing roamed the roads and concrete jungles. Computers would take over at work place, aided by social media sites, news, games, and every form of website. The lunch break would be filled with screens in restaurants and other resting places. The evening would be spent binge watching and checking likes and followers on social media. Microwaves would make it easier to consume fast foods at home, and connected dish washers would make life easier. Once done, the smartphone would ensure there was a picture of a flower as a wallpaper, and the flowers in the garden would remain unattended. The human things would be conquered.

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