Babies and Former Babies

When you show the moon to a baby, they only see your finger (African proverb). That is just how babies are, and that is how they live their lives. The grown ups are always at the receiving end of these selfish human. Babies will keep you awake at night until you start questioning why mentally sound people decide to get children. They will cry for food, cry or attention, cry for what they need, cry for what they do not need, cry to get what can harm them, and cry when they feel lonely. They see you as a servant who has always existed to serve their needs.

As far as the baby is concerned, the earth is just a few meters long. It could be that the earth has two people, mum and dad, of course and an aunt. Daddy is the biggest thing around, and the trip to the clinic could as well be a trip to mars. There might be animals on the planet, but which planet? Cows, birds, TVs and chair belong to the same family. The known earth revolves around the baby, while rotating on the parents’ axis.

We tolerate babies in the hope that one day they will outgrow their childish behaviors. We patiently feed them, change their diapers, and wake 194 times every night to attend to them in the hope that one day they will grow up and become responsible. We do our best in the hope that they will turn out just fine. The government is probably keen on child care in the hope that they will turn out to be great tax payers. We are a world that works hard to take care of babies, but maybe it is time we paused a little and learnt from them.

Why do babies cry and fight for toys they do not need? Even if another baby clearly needs the toys, or is using them, a baby will cry and demand to get the toy, and hoard the toys to themselves. And they quickly forget what is in their hands, in order to get what is in someones hands. I always thought such babies will turn into terrorists, then realized that the globe’s richest 1% own half the world’s wealth, and the top richest 26 people on planet earth own as much wealth as 50% of all people on earth. I now conclude that this penchant for accumulating toys will land these babies into the top something under something in the world.

I have always held the opinion that a sleepy baby should just sleep, not cry and make life unbearable for everyone. That can never be the case. Even sleepy adults do not just go to bed and sleep, but take caffeine to keep them awake for longer. Even when they sleep, they set an alarm to rescue them from the sleep. They then spend the whole day very irritable because of lack of sleep. Babies are just honest adults.

Babies do not know dirt. Everything that can fit will land in the mouth. Thank God most insects are swift, and toothless mouths are less potent. Babies can feed on anything, and it takes a parent to distinguish foods and non foods. They will eat bitter stuff and cry, as if someone forced them to eat. Parents will always determine what the baby feeds on, because they know what is safe for little humans. Yet, the same parents do not know what is safe for big humans. Big humans do not know where moral boundaries lie, and are not open to suggestions or directions. Of late, big humans cannot tell the difference between a boy and a girl.

Babies get angry and frustrated when their needs are not met in a reasonable amount of time. Their parents overlap on the roads and jump queues.

As Augustine says in ‘Confessions,’ Babies cry loudly for food, constantly demanding for the attention of their mothers. Only waiters and waitresses can give the other side of the story.

Babies demand things that aren’t even in their best interests. Their parents also own 32 pairs of shoes.

Babies do not want adults telling them what to do. They want to space to practice lawlessness, break stuff, spoil toys, and even self destruct. Adults do not want a supreme being telling them what to do.

Grown ups are overrated.