jacob, Author at Mugendi

The Atheist and the Lion

December 17, 2018December 28, 2018 2 min read

An atheist was on a hike when he became lost in some dense woods. A large angry lion, with ten starving cubs back home and claws like kitchen knives, suddenly emerged from the undergrowth. Seeing the lion, the atheist screamed in terror, turned and ran. The lion was quicker however, and after a long and desperate chase eventually cornered the atheist in a gully.

The exhausted atheist sank to his knees, shaking. The lion, seeing that its prey was trapped, moved slowly towards the petrified man, drooling. The lion was drooling too. The atheist lifted his head, with tears in his eyes, and uttered the words he thought he would never say in all his life: “God help me…”

With these simple three words, a blinding flash of lightning lit up the sky. There was a deafening crash of thunder. The clouds parted. A brilliant light shone down. The forest fell silent. The lion froze still, in a trance. The atheist stood gaping, transfixed.

A voice came loud from above.

“You atheists make me seriously mad,” boomed the voice, “You deny me all your life. You tell others to deny me too. You put your faith in all manner of things, and then what a surprise – you get lost because you can’t read your map, and now you’re about to get eaten by an angry lion all of a sudden you’re on your knees snivelling and begging for my help? You must be joking…”

The atheist looked down, realizing that he was not arguing from a position of strength.

“Okay, I take your point,” said the atheist, thinking on his feet, while he still had them, “I can see it’s a bit late for me to convert, but what about the lion? Maybe you could convert the lion instead?”

“Hmmn… interesting idea…” said God, “…Okay. It shall be done.” At which the brilliant light dimmed and vanished; the clouds closed; and the noises of the forest resumed.

The lion awoke and shook its head, a completely different expression on its face. Calm, at peace.

The lion closed its eyes, bowed its head, and said, “For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful, Amen.”

The dog who shopped

December 11, 2018January 24, 2019 1 min read

A dog came into a shop, having a bag in its mouth. The bag had a list of items to be bought and money so the shopkeeper took the money and put the items in the bag.

Immediately, the dog picked up the bag of items and left. The shopkeeper was surprised and went behind the dog to see who the owner was. The dog waited at the bus stop. After sometime, a bus came and the dog got onto the bus. As soon as the conductor came, it moved forward to show his neck belt which had money and the address as well. The conductor took the money and put the ticket in his neck belt again. When it reached its destination, the dog went to the front and wagged his tail indicating that he wanted to get down. As the bus stopped, it got down. The shopkeeper was still following it.

The dog knocked on the door of a house with its legs. Its owner came from inside and beat it with a stick. The shocked shopkeeper asked him “why are you beating the dog?”, the owner replied, ” he disturbed my sleep. It could have taken the keys with it.”

Moral:
There is no end to the expectations people have from you.

The rope walker

December 10, 2018 1 min read

The great tightrope walker Blondin strung a wire from one side of the Niagara Falls to the other. A crowd gathered to watch him attempt to walk out over the deadly falls. The silent tension turned to cheers as they watched him walk out, turn and come back.

He asked the crowd, “How many believe that I can walk to the other side and back while pushing a wheelbarrow?” To which they shouted, “We believe, we believe!” And, Blondin did in fact walk out and back with a wheelbarrow.

Upon his return, Blondin asked, “Who believes I could push a man in this wheelbarrow while walking out and back on the wire?” Again the crowd responded with enthusiastic affirmation.

“OK,” he asked, “Who would like to get in?” The crowd fell silent.

The Parable of the Mexican Fisherman and the Banker

November 21, 2018May 6, 2019 2 min read

An American investment banker was taking a much-needed vacation in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. The boat had several large, fresh fish in it.

The investment banker was impressed by the quality of the fish and asked the Mexican how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.”

The banker then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican fisherman replied he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The American then asked “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos: I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The investment banker scoffed, “I am an Ivy League MBA, and I could help you. You could spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats until eventually you would have a whole fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to the middleman you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You could control the product, processing and distribution.”

Then he added, “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City where you would run your growing enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”

“But what then?” asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You could make millions.”

“Millions, señor? Then what?”

To which the investment banker replied, “Then you would retire. You could move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The Story of a Dead Man

October 12, 2018May 17, 2020 2 min read

This is a story of a man who was dead.

It is hard for you to imagine how it would feel to be dead because most likely you are not dead. I also suspect that you have never been dead. I therefore perfectly understand why you may not get it even if I go into details.

But being dead is not a joke. It is a state of emptiness and nothingness that is beyond anything you can imagine. You helplessly watch as your body is dissected by the pathologist and there is nothing you can do. You try to sit up but your body does not follow through because you are dead. You cannot protest the cold place they are keeping you because you do not even feel the cold.

You are then attacked by worms that start feasting on you. They are very weak creatures but you are now weaker. They land on you like a swarm of bees and go to the deepest parts of your body. You can feel them as they feast on your liver and even your heart. It is just a matter of days before they devour you fully. It sucks to be dead.

After a few days, some people you know very well come for your body and put it in a casket. They dig a six-foot-deep grave and you realize they want to banish you into the ground where you will slowly dissolve into the earth and become part of planet earth. You will soon become like the soil that you had collected for your house plant.

All your past no longer matters. Your money, property, knowledge, social networks and reputation you had build is no more. It is such an anticlimax.

Plot Twist

But then, something at this point happens.

The worms begin to retreat. Your body starts to get warm. You can feel the strength getting into your muscles and with one jerk, your heart starts to pump again, your face smoothens and your lungs power back. The casket is pulled out of the soil where you had been buried for 21 days and is opened just as you begin to gasp for air.

You suddenly come back to life. You feel healthier than you were when you were 17. You are alive again and you confirm that it is real. You turn and find a man standing behind you dressed in white like a medic. You do not know what to say. The person has just reversed your death and recalled you from the grave. He sees your confusion and does not allow you to wonder anymore. He opens his mouth and speaks.

“I have an assignment for you.”

…The End.

How would you react?

Watch below.

Good luck, Bad luck

June 12, 2018December 5, 2018 1 min read

A man’s horse ran away. His neighbor came to him and said, “Bad luck that your horse has run away.”

The man said, “Good luck, bad luck, what do I know?”

But a week later, the horse came back, with 20 wild horses in his wake.

The neighbor said, “Good luck – you now have many more horses.”

The man said, “Good luck, bad luck, what do I know?”

Trying to tame one of the new horses, the man’s son was kicked, and his leg was broken.

The neighbor said, “Bad luck, your son’s leg being broken.”

The man said, “What do I know about good luck and bad luck?”

A few days later a bunch of thugs came by in search of able-bodied young men for their gang. They were about to kidnap the man’s son. But when they found out that his leg was broken, they left him behind and moved on to the next house.

The neighbor said, “What good luck that your son’s leg is broken!”

The story of two fish

April 25, 2018November 7, 2021 2 min read

Two fish were swimming when they saw a piece of meat dangling before them.

The younger fish darted toward it with an open mouth. The older fish cried out,

“Stop!”

“You can’t see it, but there is a hook inside that meat. It is connected by an invisible line to a pole outside the water. There is a man holding the pole.

THE TRUTH is, if you eat the meat, the hook will catch in your jaw and the man will pull you out of the water. He will cut you open with a knife, roast you on a fire and eat you. Then he will throw your remains to his cat.”

The young fish stopped. The two swam away. But when the young fish was alone, he thought to himself,

“Let me investigate the truth myself how accurate these lousy claims are.”

He went back to the meat, swam around it, above and below it. He swam as far as he could in widening circles around the meat.
After a long search, he said to himself,

“I’ve looked far and wide, and I haven’t found any sign of a man, a pole, a knife, a fire or a cat. In fact, I’ve found nothing outside this water we live in” I have come to realise my truth.

“These must just be stories made up to limit our freedoms.”

He went back to the meat and ate it.

The hook caught in his jaw, he felt himself being yanked out of the water.
For sure He saw a pole, a man and a knife, and a little further, he saw the man’s cat sleeping in a shade, but at that point his knowledge of the TRUTH was useless.

~Anonymous

The Dog who Ate a Leopard

April 17, 2018December 17, 2018 1 min read

A young girl takes her pet chihuahua with her on a safari holiday. Wandering too far one day the chihuahua gets lost in the bush, and soon encounters a very hungry looking leopard. The chihuahua realises he’s in trouble, but, noticing some fresh bones on the ground, he settles down to chew on them, with his back to the big cat. As the leopard is about to leap, the chihuahua smacks his lips and exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.”

The leopard stops mid-stride, and slinks away into the trees.

“Phew,” says the leopard, “that was close – that evil little dog nearly had me.”

A monkey nearby sees everything and thinks he’ll win a favour by putting the stupid leopard straight. The chihuahua sees the monkey go after the leopard, and guesses he might be up to no good.

When the leopard hears the monkey’s story he feels angry at being made a fool, and offers the monkey a ride back to see him exact his revenge.

The little dog sees them approaching and fears the worse.

Thinking quickly, the little dog turns his back, pretends not to notice them, and when the pair are within earshot says aloud, “Now where’s that monkey got to? I sent him ages ago to bring me another leopard…”

If you want to be influential, start blogging

January 1, 2018December 24, 2019 2 min read

‘If you want to hide something from an African, put it in the books,’ thus goes the old insult. However, there is some element of truth in the statement, considering the attitude some of us Africans have towards books, and especially when there is no exam attached to the reading.

I don’t believe that Africans are apathetic to gaining knowledge. There is an area where we excel very well; on telling stories and passing information by word of mouth. Most African cultures have great oral traditions and every tea break in the office, lecture break or even bus ride finds us listening to some stories, or even telling some. Vocal people are popular and end up in politics, and in small group setting, the talking guy is the spirit of the party.

However, as times change, so we should. Technology has changed the way we communicate and interact, and social media has taken a prime position as a means of communication. Our stories must now be told online, and this has been effected using social media. This is a good thing, and we must use social media to convey positive and relevant messages all the time. But social media has its limitations; it is perfect for one-liners, 140 characters, and pictures, and users detest anything that will keep them on these platforms for too long. We just want to have a glimpse of information. The other times when we need to read something in depth needs a different tool than social media. We want good written articles that we can read in fifteen to twenty minutes, and this is where good blogs and platforms like medium become necessary.

A number of people have made a fortune by writing blogs, but in this a few problems have also come up. The quality of content and the topics covered is always wanting. It is said that people who used to write on toilet walls when we were kids have now become bloggers – they only changed the platform but the content is the same. It is therefore important that responsible people also take up the challenge and populate the world wide web with good content that can help better the cause of humanity.

You do not need to be an expert in any field in order to influence people through writing. Your daily experience can inspire someone else, and your past experience can help mentor a younger person. Your daily struggles or successes with finances, health, friendships, leadership, career, faith, farming etc can be useful to someone else. We also need to document the our life experiences for the sake of others who come after us.

Start Writing

Dead Reckoning

December 6, 2017June 21, 2020 3 min read

It is possible to know where we are and whether we are moving at all, when we are walking, cycling, or even driving. We can see objects around us, and our position relative to them can help us know if we are moving or stationery. The road markings on the road help us to maintain our lanes, and the roads themselves are a defined path to our destinations.

It becomes a little difficult when swimming, especially when we are learning how to swim. Sometimes we make a lot of random motion but without movement in a desired direction, and we have to pop our heads out of the water to know where we are relative to the edge of the swimming pool.

Motion in Water

When it comes to ships and submarines, it is even harder to determine the exact location. As the ships and submarines move, water and air currents are also active, resulting into drift. Sometimes, even stopping a ship mid ocean for several days is hard, because the ship could drift for hundreds of kilometers.

This was a problem that was solved by use of anchors to hold the ship in position when stationary, use of light house to mark dangerous sections, and observance of heavenly bodies to determine course and location. Later, use of inertial navigation systems to calculate the location of a vessel by using computers, accelerometers, gyroscopes and magnetometers, using a process called dead reckoning was adopted.

Determining Location

Dead reckoning is the process of calculating one’s current position by using a previously determined position, and advancing that position based upon known or estimated speeds over elapsed time and course. It may not be very accurate, but it is quite useful to get you somewhere very close to where you want to go.

Today, use of Global Positioning System (GPS) has made it possible for us to determine where we are with great accuracy, to the point of almost discarding the older techniques. However, even the very accurate GPS can sometimes fail. A case study is the grounding of the cruise ship Royal Majesty in 1995. The antenna cable for the GPS had been cut, and the GPS was no longer functional. For several days, the ship operated well via dead reckoning, but ran aground when it was in coastal waters of Boston. The GPS system had operated flawlessly for several years, and so the crew had full confidence in it. The result was damages amounting to millions of dollars.

Dead Reckoning in Life

Life is also a form of navigation in the high seas. We need excellent navigation systems to avoid running into shallow waters, icebergs or dangerous sections. Sometimes we don’t know our expected destinations, and other times we know the destinations but are not sure of the path. Sometimes we know the paths but dangerous ice bergs can move into the paths. Other times we are sailing to look for new lands, like Christopher Columbus, and thus lack the information from others experiences.

We cannot always depend on other people, civilizations or cultures to determine our position or speed, because they are also moving. We are like first time sailors, in a maiden voyage, given one opportunity to get it right. The best tool that we can use is a GPS that cannot fail.

Does it exist?

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